Determination and independence
I have been dreaming of visiting India alone for a long time, and back then I thought, that should I not do it then, I would never ever do it at all.
I flew away from home without having any specific plan, only having arranged the accommodation for a couple of days in Mumbai at complete strangers through Couchsurfing.
At that time of my life, I dreamt of stopping saying "Yes", where I wanted to say "No".
I was overwhelmed with the desire to get rid of my senseless politeness and get phrases like "It is not right", "I do not want to offend anyone", "What will people say?" out of my head.
I wanted to make my own decisions, take responsibility for my thoughts, actions and even inactivity. Once and for ever I wanted to make a deal with the Universe that this was my life and I was ready to answer for it and all its challenges, painful moments, joys, pleasures and emotions.
During my trip to India I was no longer worried about anyone's opinion, because at that time I felt comfortable on my own with myself. It was me who chose where to go, what to do, where to stop, so, in fact, I decided what kind of person I wanted to be. And I could have been anyone; if I wanted I could even walk around naked, because nobody knew me anyway. I could just ignore what others thought of me.
And also, there were no loved ones around who could listen to my wining and support me, there were no possibility to shift responsibility to my mother, father, neighbour or a dog.
Thanks to my journey to India, I felt that I am the only one who took control over my life.